5 Ways to Build Self-esteem in children (Secret: Don't Praise Him)

5 Ways to Build Self-esteem in children (Secret: Don't Praise Him)

Building self-esteem in children when they are young, not after they have grown up.
If they have high self-esteem, then children feel they can do better in life. But there are right and wrong ways to do positive self-esteem. One of the most common mistakes mothers makes is praising kids too much. This can actually backfire and cause low self-confidence in boys instead of building it up! In this blog post, I'll share 5 tips for how you can build your child's self-esteem without giving him excessive praise.

1. Why Praise him too much is not good?

Bill Clinton, the 42nd president of the USA and was a famous "present" in the lives of his 7 children, only gave 3 of them advice: Hillary, Chelsea and one other. But he went all-in with praising them.

"I don't think I ever said to any of them, 'you did a really lousy job,'" Clinton said to a famous psychologist.

"When they would bring me their report card or show up with the gold medal in some local contest and it was clear that they had done well, I always wanted to say something like 'and you 're going to be even better.'"

"I think it's important not to confuse patting them on the back, which is an expression of love and encouragement with giving them a false sense that they have all these gifts," he said. "There are just some things I can't say." Clinton praised his young children when they performed well, but he never gave them the false sense that they were perfect.

Praising one's child too much might make him feel like all of his successes are expected and don't require any special effort on his part. Praise should be saved when a boy does something well, not in response to everything he accomplishes or doesn't accomplish.

If you're looking for a way to build self-esteem in your son without praising him too much, here are five ways:

* Praise should be saved only when he does something well and not just given in response to everything else.

* Make sure the praise is genuine rather than a way to manipulate your child.

* Spend time with him and be there for him when he needs you most.

* Encourage any outside ventures, whether artistic or athletic endeavors, to feel a sense of accomplishment in something other than their academic life.

* Help your child develop the skills necessary to complete challenges on his own instead of just praising them.

2. Give your child space to make mistakes

Give your child space to make mistakes, so he knows it's okay if he doesn't get everything right.

I have a friend who's the father of two boys. When his youngest was about three or four, he and his wife were helping him with homework one night when they discovered that their child had been drawing on himself for months without anyone noticing it!

"We're so sorry," my friend told his son as tears welled in both parents' eyes. "We're so, so sorry we didn't notice sooner."

The son looked at them with a puzzled expression and said: "But I was doing it on purpose!".

He wanted to see if he could get away with drawing all over himself without anyone catching him!

All children make mistakes.
It's a part of life!
Let children discover by themselves.

It's very easy for parents to get caught up in their child's love and feelings but fail to see that there is a problem they need help with. All children make mistakes. It's a part of life!

Let them face challenges. When your son makes one, he needs you by his side, not just to say "good job" or "you're so wonderful, you didn't make a mistake."

One of the best things you can do for your boy is let him know that it's okay if he makes mistakes. It's how they learn and grow in their self-confidence!

3. The main cause of low self-esteem: COMPARISON

The best way to build a boy's self-esteem is by not comparing him. But, unfortunately, boys are constantly being compared in school, and at home, so it can be hard for them to really see their own strengths and weaknesses without feeling inadequate when they're never the "best."

Comparing your son also sets up an unfair standard of unrealistic expectations that will put a lot of stress on him. It's better to help your child learn how to be his own person and find what he excels at instead.

"Don't praise them and tell them they're better. They need to learn their strengths and weaknesses."

- Shahid Kapoor

A child's self-esteem is a necessary ingredient for success in life, and it's important to take care of your child by not overpraising him or comparing him.

It sets the bar too high and can lead to low self-confidence, which will prevent them from doing well in school or developing friendships with other boys their age, also will avoid some behavior problems. Instead, encourage competence by letting your son take on challenges and let him know that you're proud of his hard work.

4. Be a good role model by taking care of yourself and setting a good example for how your boy should do things

To be a good role model for your son, you should take care of yourself and set a good example. This will teach him the importance of taking responsibility for himself while building his self-esteem at the same time.

For instance, if your son sees you drinking soda all day long or watching TV non-stop, he might think to himself that this is the only way to live.

Don't always say, "Do as I say and not as I do"

Be a good role model, and you'll see that your children will want to learn more about how they can take care of themselves. The positive effects on their health, self-esteem, and behavior are sure to follow suit. Just remember: don't always say, "Do as I do!".

Take care of yourself by caring for your needs, and your children will be glad they learned how to do the same.

5. Find ways to build a child's self-esteem outside of school

It's hard for kids to learn how to feel good about themselves if they don't get enough opportunities at home or school. If you want your young child to feel better about him/herself, let your child have the chance to do something new, different, and exciting!

Go fishing together or teach them how to cook a healthy meal from scratch. Make sure that you're having fun while doing it! Your child will love this moment and also be proud of what he can accomplish on his own. Your kid will soon develop an improved sense of confidence that will last throughout their lives!

Let children discover by themselves.
Give them the chance to do something new, different.

Discuss what a child needs to do for him/her about your child's feelings and find something good about him/herself. Offer some suggestions of things that your son can try outside the classroom or at home to fulfill his/her feelings.


It's not always easy to build your child's self-esteem. Sometimes, it feels like we're just trying to play catch up with all of the good things he has done or praise him for every little thing he does right. But, unfortunately, when our sons are constantly being praised and told how great they are, their expectations rise higher than what is possible, which can lead them into a cycle of low self-esteem.

I hope this article has helped you understand how to help your son build self-esteem. If it's been helpful, please follow us on our social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list so that we can share more articles like these with you as they come out. Thank You!

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published